Ex Refusing Court Orders? Here’s What to Do

Finalizing a divorce is supposed to be the end of a difficult chapter. You have a decree in hand, outlining custody schedules, support payments, and property division. Ideally, both parties respect the judge’s decision and move on. Unfortunately, reality often looks different.

When a former spouse engages in court order refusal, it disrupts your life and undermines the legal system. Whether they are withholding child support, ignoring visitation times, or refusing to sell a shared property, these actions are illegal. You do not have to handle this alone. The Law Offices of Diron Rutty, LLC understands the frustration of post-divorce conflicts and is here to help New York City residents enforce their rights.

Here is a step-by-step guide on how to handle a court order violation.

Document All Violations Immediately

The moment a violation occurs, write it down. In family law, evidence is everything. If your ex is late for a pickup, note the exact time. If a support payment is missed, save the bank statement showing the non-deposit.

Do not rely on your memory. Weeks or months from now, specific dates and times will blur. Having a contemporaneous record — meaning notes made at the time the event happened — is far more persuasive to a judge than a vague recollection of past events.

Attempt Communication

Before escalating to legal channels, try to resolve the issue directly, provided it is safe to do so. Sometimes, a court order violation is a genuine misunderstanding or a temporary lapse rather than malicious defiance.

Send a clear, professional email or text message asking for compliance. For example, “Per our agreement, the children were supposed to be dropped off at 4:00 PM. Please let me know when you will arrive.” This not only attempts to solve the problem but creates a paper trail showing that you tried to be reasonable.

Send a Demand Letter

If direct communication fails, the next step is often a demand letter. This is a formal letter sent by your attorney to your ex-spouse. It outlines the specific violations, references the relevant sections of the divorce decree, and demands immediate compliance.

A demand letter serves two purposes. First, it signals to your ex that you are serious and prepared to take legal action. Second, if you do end up in court, it demonstrates to the judge that you attempted to resolve the matter out of court first.

File a Motion in Court

When informal attempts fail, you may need to ask the court to intervene. There are generally two types of motions you can file:

Motion for Contempt

A Motion for Contempt (or Order to Show Cause) asks the court to hold your ex-spouse accountable for disobeying a lawful order. The burden of proof is on you to show that the order was clear, your ex knew about it, and they willfully violated it.

Motion to Enforce

A Motion to Enforce specifically requests that the court compel the other party to do something, such as signing over a deed, releasing funds, or adhering to a parenting schedule.

Maintain a Detailed Log

While immediate documentation is crucial, maintaining a long-term log is equally important for establishing a pattern. A one-time mistake might be forgiven by a judge, but a chronic history of court order refusal is taken very seriously.

Keep a calendar or a dedicated notebook where you track every interaction related to the violation. This log will be the foundation of your argument if you file a motion for contempt. It transforms isolated incidents into a clear narrative of non-compliance.

Consult a Family Law Attorney

Navigating the enforcement of a divorce decree is complex. Procedural mistakes can delay your case or result in a dismissal. Consulting with a qualified family law attorney ensures that your motions are filed correctly and your evidence is presented effectively.

Furthermore, an attorney can often request that the court order your ex-spouse to pay your legal fees. If the court finds that the violation was willful, it may require the non-compliant party to cover the costs you incurred to enforce the order.

Consequences for Non-Compliance

Family courts do not look kindly on those who ignore their rulings. If a judge finds your ex-spouse in contempt, the consequences can be severe:

• Fines: The court may impose monetary penalties for every day the violation continues.
• Wage Garnishment: For missed support, the court can seize wages directly from a paycheck.
• Custody Modification: If the violation involves visitation, the judge may alter the custody arrangement to protect the children and ensure the complying parent’s rights are respected.
• Jail Time: In extreme cases of willful contempt, the court can order jail time until compliance is met.

Don’t Let Violations Slide

Allowing an ex-spouse to ignore a court order sets a dangerous precedent. It suggests that the rules don’t apply to them. By taking decisive action, you protect your financial stability, your parental rights, and your peace of mind.

If you are dealing with a non-compliant ex-spouse in New York City, do not wait for the situation to improve on its own. Contact the Law Offices of Diron Rutty, LLC today. We can help you navigate the legal steps necessary to enforce your divorce agreement and move forward with your life.